Weekend Update 2014: Week of January V to XII

Welcome to the first true Standard Pauper Weekend Update of 2014.  Yes, we have Roman numerals.  No, this piece needs no further introduction.  Table up?  Then GL & HF:

Upcoming Standard Pauper Events:

All times Eastern Standard Time

MPDC 23.11 takes place Monday, January 13 at 2:00 pm, hosted by Gwyned and sponsored by PureMTGO.

SPDC 20.03 will happen on Thursday, January 16 at 8:30 pm, hosted by yours truly and sponsored by PDCMagic.

I've also come upon a website I never have before, NuGamesOnline, which is holding a Standard Pauper event today!  If you are new to the Standard Pauper, the announcement is also another good introductory post for the format.  And if you're new to player-run-events or want to join the scene for the first time this week, definitely read and bookmark Gwyned's New Player Primer for the low-down on the how-to.

That’s a nice lead-in for regulars and veterans looking for the best in…

Standard Pauper Articles of the Week

At least the ones I could find.  If you feel your article deserves recognition and I missed it, let us know!

1/6/14: Gathering Magic - Be Kind

In which Rada Rudyak writes a heart-breaking piece for all Magic players that nearly brought me to tears, an appeal for courtesy and sanity in online gaming.  Read it.  That is all…from me…for now.

1/7/14 - MTGOstrat: Standard Deviations, Pauper Variable #10 

In which Brennon wishes us a Happy New year his perspective on SPDC 20.02.  He’s got a great video of his White Weenie vs.  Red Deck Wins therein. There's a plethora ofl videos from the event available at the Magic Gathering Strat YouTube channel, one of which we’ll get to in the op-ed section to follow...

1/10/2014:  The Draft Brewery - Gold Medal Cyclops.Dec 1st Place SPDC 20.02

In which DrChrisBakerDC gives us the meatiest piece of the week.  He took top spot at SPDC 20.02 with a Nivix Cyclops deck, an evolution of his prior Izzet Razor Burn.  The King of Izzet provides the kind of advanced strategies to Standard Pauper that only a pro like he could share.  It’s no wonder the metagame is going strong even though our player base is one of the smallest of MTGO communities.

1/11/14:  Bag of Loot - Knight’s Booty - Friday Night Leftovers

In which geraldknight3kl provides another quality introduction to our game. It’s a kind of shorter version of TheDraftBrewery’s excellent Top Ten Reason To Play Standard Pauper article from last month.  The only difference is that this one provides two deck lists relevant to the meta to help total beginners get started.  There's no reason to be on the fence after reading either of these :-)

11/11/14:  Standard Pauper Players - The Beauty of a Format Solving Itself

In which MundisV pens a unique perspective: the metagame seemed shift right out from under our feet while the Holiday Break snuck past.  She gives us a list of reasons why Dimir Mill is no longer the “unbeatable” and other brief insights after a discussion of key cards that lead to its downfall.

Cabel’s Sunday Talking Heads

Establishing Shot:

This is Where I Shoot the Standard Pauper Shit

Cue the Meet the Press theme and get the FCC censors on Skype!! This is where you can stop reading if it’s just information your looking for, are easily offended by stronger language, or just plain don‘t give a fuck what I think.  The show is nothing but filthy left-wing  bullshit from now on, so…

…in all seriousness, you may find, going forward, that this portion of the blog will take the liberty to border on the NSFW at times.  If I go that route, I will provide prior warning.  Otherwise, expect nothing worse than the below.  I’d say it’s on par with what we’d find in an R-rated film and certainly nothing even close to violating the Blogspot terms.

Why write this way, though?

Cuz I’m a “grown-ass man, dog,” that’s why!  Most of you guys are, too, this shit ain’t just for kids.  And it’s been a long ass week, come Sunday, you know that.  For me, that means it’s time to let loose.  So I’m gonna be la bit looser with the language in this section than you may be accustomed to. This is where I can shoot the shit about Standard Pauper like a grown-ass man who doesn't give a fuck after a long-ass week.  I'll never bullshit you, but this is a style of writing that I need to get done.

But nothing worse than I've ever seen printed in mass market magazines at the check-out counter or something might be said on The Daily Show, and that's kind of the idea here.  And trust me, if it's a bunch of bullshit on "bullshit" and other related profanities you want, I'm sure to cover that topic someday and explain why I need to spout off on a regular basis when the context is not cruel or unusual.

But fair warning is still warranted with such vulgar vocabulary, and the above should give any folks who wish to control their youngster's Magic content-consuming habits enough piece of mind for me to brutally decapitate this yet-another-run-on sentence and get to the fucking point already!

This Week w/ Cabel the Pauper

Brought to you by... the Shuffler-Rage-Quit-Induction Complex Corporation. "Keeping Things Random...To Be Fair"

Opening Sequence:

Plans for This Week and Beyond

Now, then. I do have big plans for this opinion section the Weekend Update now that I've found this little digital camera can also shoot video.  A great admirer of those Standard Pauper writers who cover the format with both textual and audiovisual media, I am determined to cultivate the ability to do the same at least as well.  I also admire the political talking heads whose living is to be just that: be a head on a tee-vee screen that just talks and talks and bullshits and bullshit with, incredibly, a straight face.

Since I only discovered this camera feature yesterday and suck at electronic devises without joysticks, I’m not quite ready for that yet.  A good substitute exists from one of the many videos Brennon posted from SPDC 20.02 provides me a perfect topic though: Why the hell I played such slow deck with no chance of winning, an untested Five Color Defenders Combo Pile:

Like, watch the whole thing if you must, but this vid get a self-depreciating highlight for being probably the most boring Standard Pauper video out there.  And it isn't for want of Brennon’s professional production; it’s all my damned decks fault!

He does make mention of how I scoop once I realize everybody else in the event is watching me get completely beaten down when all I have are dumbass Gatecreeper Vines and Axebane Guardians and absolutely nothing to do with all that mana…and no way to speed things and put us out of our misery.

Was I just listening to Pink Floyd on Purple Haze, or was there a method to my madness?

The Final Say:

How to Win for Losing, or, Hosting for the Long Haul

"Yes, there was!"

See, the thing about hosting an event like this is I’m not a very experienced host at all.  I don’t know the ins and outs of DCI Reporter the way folks who've been running PRE’s for years do.  Some days are tough for me (for reasons I’ll explain at a later date related to that anti-bullying article mentioned above) and both running and event and playing one to win at the same time is beyond my multitasking abilities.

Plus, just as it happens with other players, I can get bored and lose focus if I have to wait my ass off while a life-gain control mirror is stuck at 21 to 30-something after my Aggro deck just got stomped 0-2 after getting royally mana fucked.

What I was expecting at SPDC 20.02 was a long night with Dimir Mill decks coming back for more long games, and my main goal was to just not get bored or mentally overtaxed.  I wasn't trying to win because I didn't want to win.  I just needed a way to have fun playing Magic while I was concentrating on keeping the tourney running smoothly.  So I determined that in order to stay a Spike of host, I had to just play a Timmy deck that had no chance of winning...just the way I like my Timmy decks :-)

I did take one game when the Magical Christmasland combo of snagging a beast with Act of Treason and giving it the Apocalypto treatment with Corpse Blockade, but really, folks, the list can not be justified as playable if your goal is to do better than my deserved (as expected)  0-3 showing.

But if you want to have some fun and don’t care about winning, then by all means, get whacky!  I’m sure one of the more serious players looking for another gold medal for Dimir Mill or Izzet Control will only be too happy to see something so ineffective across the field.  Hell, maybe they’ll find some humor in it or you'll actually be able to pull of your Timmy combo once in the event!  If that’s what made you happy, then I’m all too happy to keep on hosting.

As to that, I truly hope whoever is reading this has the most fun they can have in their own way on MTGO, but also in a way that makes things fun for everybody.  That’s the number one reason I do what I do: the metagaming, the brewing, the writing, the hosting, the community-building.  It may not be much and attendance may not be astronomical…

…but I am having more fun that I've ever had with Standard Pauper and I’m seeing old-timers and noobs alike having a blast with this kick ass format.  And that makes the first full week of 2014 a damn good success in my book.

Now let’s do it all over again, Paupers!  We both made it through the week okay.  So let’s go kick the next weeks’ ass like we did the last.  You want my opinion on that?  It’s this:  We can do it!

Thanks for reading. I hope y’all have a great rest of your weekend with your IRL loved ones and Online buddies. Maybe I’ll see you later tonight for some friendly practice matches…but NOT with a bullshit (but still Timmytastic) slow-ass, five-color wall deck :-)  Peace!

- C

Freestyle: Introducing Philospohy, Comic Book Style

"He becomes a pauper, and pauperism increases more rapidly than population and wealth."  - Karl Marx

This aphorism has been my signature of choice for my Pauper Magic forum posting needs.  It served as one of many quotes that I have gathered in my readings that eventually lead me to an interest in what I believe to be the foundation of all human thought and action: Philosophy.

Yeah, I'm one of those guys.  One who has a lot of time on his hands and lot of annoying questions on his mind that he just has to ask you.  And then ask you why you answered it that way.  All while appearing lazy for doing nothing but thinking all day.  Makes you wanna make me take a Sip of Hemlock, doesn't it?

If you know what (or who) the flavor of this card is alluding to and you are a Magic player, then you'll probably be the type that digs both philosophy and stereo-typically "nerdy" artwork.  Like posters of dragons and the painting of miniatures or...comic books.  Like this one:

My introduction to philosophy would have been much weaker and less enjoyable were it not for these delightfully insightful little books.  Each title in the series of nearly 100 is pocket-sized and incredibly affordable at ten bucks new (with tons of used copies from previous editions available for even less).

I've acquired nearly twenty copies now after first picking up Marxism: A Graphic Guide about two years ago, thinking it was a one-off joke.  I was pleased to find the same engaging format employed in this book was uniform for a wide of titles on nearly every major philosophy and philosopher you think you can think of, with some science and literature thrown in:

Introducing Books - Graphic Guides

To boot, the series is not a new phenomenon.  It has an interesting history dating all the way back the 1960s and 1970s when an independent Mexican cartoonist called Rius penned a comic book, graphic-novel style, on Karl Marx. It was later taken up by a somewhat left-leaning British publishing cooperative, which continued producing new titles throughout the 1980s.  Then, in the 1990s, something happened that never, ever happens to lefty organizations...

...they split :-)

Now two publishing houses would develop the "For Beginners" series, as it was called back then, one in the States and one in Britain (the irony being that the perspective of the series is decidedly Continental).  But we get a happy ending: The two later rejoined forces early this millennium and shrank the size of the books with slick new covers to produce the pocket-sized book pictured above.  

Since both companies kept producing new books in the interim, sometimes issues on the same subject would see print on both sides of the Atlantic with different authors and illustrators.  It may have seemed confusing, redundant, and counter-productive at the time, but a positive side-effect is the great treasure hunt awaiting those who become fans of the series as we seek out previous editions from either publisher.  Indeed, now that I play mainly MTGO, these books have entirely replaced physical Magic cards as my collectible commodities of choice.

Each new title I add to my collection has been a visual and cognitive romp of challenging ideas made more vivid by equally daring illustrations.  My favorite in the series so far has to be the out-of-print Kafka for Beginners, illustrated by none other than underground comic book legend, R. Crumb.  But despite my admiration for him, I've discovered other great illustrators, my favorite being Piero for his high energy, dreamlike brush strokes.

True to their roots, most titles are printed in Spanish and English and always remind the reader of the importance of Marx.

I highly encourage you to check out this series.  At least one is bound to appeal to you if Magic has already captured your attention and brought you this far.  Is the artwork or the color pie you like most?  Pick up Aesthetics.  Is it the strategy you enjoy?  Try Logic.  Working on that mana base?  Statistics.  Want to build the MTGO equivalent of Jeopardy's Watson?  Artificial Intelligence is also available.

I've already found fascinating applications that philosophy can have for Magic: the Gathering.  And isn't any discussion of a metagame really a dialogue on metaphysics?  I'd say the two hobbies are complimentary, and both suffer from a stigma that is easily proved wrong: that they cannot be made into a profession.  But that's a discussion for another day...

In summary, when we play Magic: the Gathering and when we build our decks and even when we write articles about it, we are at the same time philosophizing.  Following this, it’s as good a time as ever to introduce (or re-introduce) ourselves to philosophy. These books are the most entertaining way I've found do so.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.  Happy thinking!  Peace,

- C

Wacky...Whatever, It's Wedensday

You were expecting Wacky Wednesday?  Well so was I, but when I started writing it all these Governors and Vice-Presidents started coming to town when a bunch of indie rockers came up to me and I was like...

In all seriousness, time and inspiration constraints have caused me to revise my blogging plans a bit.   The theme for Wednesdays this year will be whatever I can alliterate with the letter "W" since I'm obviously an alliteration addict.

There's some great words that start with the same letter as "word" itself, many of them corresponding to my interests as a Pauper Magic player and somewhat of a pauper in real life.  You get connected with certain powers when the hand you are dealt is not quite as strong as those dealt to others in this stacked-deck world.  Many of these coincidentally begin with the same target letter:

Willpower.  Wisdom.  Wellness.  Wonder.  And of course, that thing that doesn't seem to increase as quickly as pauperism: Wealth.

I should be able to come up with something more interesting given this new, less limiting constraint.  I have a second daily writing gig that must take precedence over this blog (in the coming weeks, I'll let you know why and where).

Finally, I imagined myself in mid-year, trying desperately to be funny with another Wacky Wednesday.  I felt corny just thinking about it :-)

So sometimes I'll be wacky, and sometimes I'll be wise.  For now, this post is just a warning that you can expect whatever you didn't expect come Wednesdays.

To make up for this, I will build the absolute wackiest Standard Pauper deck I can cook up for tomorrow's SPDC 20.02 tournament I'll be hosting at 9:00 PM in the Anything Goes room (which I'd lobby to have renamed to the Whatever room). See you there!  Peace,

-C

Monday Metagame Report

The first week of the New Year is usually a slow one for Standard Pauper PREs.  This year is no different.  There was no MPDC tournament last week due to the holiday break (which ends today with MPDC 23.10!) and the first event in the 20th SPDC season has already been covered here in a tournament report.

Furthermore, while it has not seen the light of day quite yet, I expect that the next edition of Standard & Pauper (here is last month's article) will be published shortly on PureMTGO.  I've a hunch it will appear today, but I could easily be wrong.  I'm probably not the only amateur Magic writer who has taken it upon himself to churn more drafts in the New Year :-)

So instead of a redundant post, we'll have to wait until next week to see how the Monday Metagame Report pans out.  You can expect a summary of what happens later in today's MPDC and the results of SPDC 20.02 coming up this Thursday.

I will instead update this post with a link to January's installment of Standard & Pauper as soon as it is published.  In the meantime, here's a preview of some of the metagame data I've tracked for the series:

The article will also track the Top 10 decks of the metagame, the balance between aggro and control, and an updated look at the comparative ratio of colors being played.  I hope you enjoy it, maybe between rounds of today's Standard Pauper event...

That's all for this slow week.  Stay tuned for next week's metagame report as things begin to pick up speed again.  In any case, have a great Monday!  Peace,

- C

Weekend Update: 2014 Posting Schedule

For the first Weekend Update of the New Year, I'll fulfill my promise made in my Holiday Update as to how updates to this blog will look for the rest of the year.  Since then, the next edition of Standard & Pauper has been submitted and should see publication on PureMTGO soon.  The details of the 20th season of SPDC have been finalized as well. That leaves only a regular posting schedule for Cabel the Pauper.

And here it is!

But first, a little reasoning behind the time table: I found last year that posting twice daily was too much work. Even after reducing this I found that once a day was still too difficult to fit into real life demands.  My hopes of a site that published daily content about Standard Pauper seemed dashed.

But this is okay in the end because others are posting regularly as well (check them out on the sidebar of this blog).    A daily stream of submissions has can be achieved by circumstantial collaboration so that no one person has a post-a-day responsibility that, in the end, is too demanding.  So since Gwyned over at Writer Adept has announced his intent to post three days a week, I'll fill in the holes on the four remaining days.  This leads me to present to you the 2014 blogging schedule for Cabel the Pauper:

Mondays - The Monday Metagame Report 

This feature will appear a few hours prior to the MPDC tournament and will contain all the updated metagame information compiled from the previous weeks' MPDC and SPDC tournaments.  This column will always be about Standard Pauper.  

Wednesday - Wacky Wednesdays!

This silly feature from last year will continue, if only for my own selfish amusement.  I will at least try to be funny here once a week while discussing pretty much anything Magic related that strikes me as wacky.  I'm sorry if I do not succeed :-D

Fridays - Freestyle Fridays 

All those non-Magic related topics mentions in the blog description are reserved for this column.  Even though they seem unrelated to M:TG, the goal here will be to find hidden parallels.   Expect more philosophy and pop culture themed posts than anything else.  Or, if the last night's SPDC event was particularly exciting, I'll provide a tournament report like the last one.  The point is to provide me with the freedom to do one or the other as circumstances permit.

Sundays - The Weekend Update 

Finally, this will be similar to the Freestyle Friday format, but will only ever focus on either Standard Pauper or other Rarity Restricted Casual Competitive formats on Magic Online.  The Update portion itself will contain announcements for Standard Pauper events in the upcoming week and a quick wrap-up of the best format coverage elsewhere on the web during the past week.  The rest of the post will essentially be my Sunday morning "talking head" style of editorial, mostly focusing on what I've been playing on MTGO, or some metagame comments that will be elaborated on as the next week of updates to  follow.

There you have it!   I'm looking forward to writing these pieces all year, hopefully improving my writing and Magic playing skills in the process.  These are two of my main personal goals in the New Year.  I've been successful in all the other ones I've made for myself by taking things one day at a time.  One play at a time, the best one I can with what the shuffler deals me.

I hope you enjoy the rest of the year and meet your goals, too.   Until next year, it will go without saying: Thanks for reading and good luck & have fun!  Peace,

- C

Standard Pauper Deck Challenge Report: SPDC 20.01

A new season of the Standard Pauper Deck Challenge series began last night.   New Years' hangovers and the rescheduling of Pauper Classic Tuesdays due to the holiday did not prevent enough paupers showing up to compete.

On my end, I had fun running back and forth between windows and faucets to make sure the pipes and Grandma didn't freeze in between rounds.  You do what you gotta do :-)  Let's see how the event played out:

Standard Pauper Deck Challenge 20.01 Event Report

This tournament gave us a first in Theros season Standard Pauper: playoffs composed enitrely of Mono Colored Decks.  I'll grant we only ran a Top Four playoff, but we still have the following decks leading the way, all of them running only a single color.

Finals and Playoffs Winners:

1st Place: White Weenie  

2nd Place: Big Green

3rd Place: Mono Black (deck not yet posted)

4th Place: Red Deck Wins 

This is the first time a straight Green deck has made it to the Playoffs.  I've run into these big Snakes and Foxes before.  They are tough to deal with and can finish games in very few swings - without messing with too  Auras the way White Weenie and Red Decks do.  It looks to ramp up to big brutes right quick, then smash with something that's too big to handle...

But the finals match was brutally quick.  Xelz's White Weenie deck bestowed upon him two Hopeful Eidolon plus Ethereal Armor openings in a row while Jadis's Big Green could not ramp fast enough.  With this victory, the archetype is second only to Dimir Mill in total wins.

Swiss Honorable Mention:

We're not sure of the exact list posted by Mono Black last night (make sure you post your deck lists to Gatherling to receive your season points and contribute to metagame data).  But I did run into a slightly different Black deck in the Swiss played by FlxEx.  It's a surprisingly fast thing compared to the usual Mono Black Control list.  That's because this is Mono Black Aggro...Blade!

Yeah, I kept looking for it but never saw it either.  There really is no Gray Merchant of Asphodel here.  I found myself making mistakes with my Simple Izzet Control list that was used to the Devotion strategy.  Instead, FlxEx bested me in the Swiss even after I had a chance to play test against it before the event.  He just kept dropping cheap dudes and swinging like any other Rakdos Shred-Freak deck.

The Takeaway:

Personally, I'm glad the new season began without a hitch and in a particularly challenging time in real life.  That's a big step up from the disappointment of Worlds 19 not firing; the season needed a good start to boost my morale at least.  Hopefully yours, too!

I'm looking forward to next week, with MPDC 23.10 on Monday, to see if single-color decks arrive in greater numbers.  Green Ramp and Black Aggro were both very interesting entries for me, just when I was starting to think that guild-based decks were the way to go.  And once again, I think I'm sick of White Weenie already again, but that's just me :-)

Also, I anticipate attendance being higher next week as there will be no conflict with any other PRE's (to the best of my knowledge).  That means the competition will be stronger and could lead to an even higher prize payout!  Thanks to all who played this week and see you next Thursday in the PDC room at 8:30 PM EST for SPDC 20.02.  Till then, good luck!  Peace,


- C 

2014: A New Year for Standard Pauper

Happy New Year!  This will be my fifth year of playing Standard Pauper and the eighth year of Standard Pauper play on Magic Online.  I hope it will be the first year for loads of new players, too.

In that sense, the most important article of 2014 has already been published just for them.  On day one, no less!  Gwyned, the author of Writer Adept and host of the MPDC series has updated his New Player Primer from a couple years ago to provide players who have never participated in a Player Run Event before all they need to know to get started.

PureMTGO - Writer Adept: New Player Primer 2014

The article covers the both the old and new MTGO clients and some updates to the Gatherling procedure for these tournaments.  And there are links, links, links to every place that updates content regarding the format.  The information is as applicable the MPDC series as it is the 20th season of SPDC I will be hosting this year...starting tomorrow!

So if you are new to Standard Pauper, do check out Gwyned's article on PureMTGO to help you get started and join us on Monday afternoons and Thursday nights all year long for the best kept secret in Magic Online.  And if you're a returning player, then welcome back!  I hope to see you online and get the best games of my Standard Pauper career in with you this year :-)  Good luck and have fun with your 2014!  Peace,

- C