ERRATA: Another STD Pauper Video Review of DTK Exists!

I reported yesterday during my round-up of other DTK set reviews for Standard Pauper that MagicGatheringStrat are the producers of the "only" video review of the set.

That is incorrect!  This cannot stand!

DrChrisBakerDC over at The Draft Brewery has also produced another Standard Pauper themed assessment of every single card in YouTube video form.  He brought the error in my reporting to my attention in the comments section of the blog post, providing a link to his excellent video review. You can watch the entire video right here, right now.

His narration has some great laugh-out-loud moments and his card evaluation skills are excellent,  It is a must-watch for all Standard Pauper players.  In fact, how about you just watch out below!  I'll save you some browser navigation time to help atone for my mix-up:

Please note that Dr. Chris doesn't start off with the new set: don't be fooled by his focus on the previously-evaluated Fate Reforged cards.  The good doctor checks his last top ten predictions for that set based on how the Standard Pauper metagame has actually played out since.  Just keep viewing - he'll get to Dragons of Tarkir soon enough after he's done reviewing...his own reviews!  Now that's impressive intellectual integrity!

Honestly, having watched it after posting my own Critiques, it makes me wonder just how much I got horribly wrong in my own evaluations.  I suppose we all make mistakes when it comes to judging new cards upon their initial release, but we can quickly fix our deckbuilding and spellcasting strategies to compensate.

But a blatant error in reporting and compiling information?  That, dear reader, is a different animal entirely!  The only humane thing to do is acknowledge it cannot be saved, put it to sleep and out of its misery, and properly dispose of the remains.  It's like a cat that's grown so old and sickly it's practically a zombie.  To not correct and update one's informative posts online is as filthy and mangy as a...

Am I correctly exploiting this scary simile?

In any case: Apologies for this oversight go out to my readers and Dr. Chris himself.  I honestly cannot believe I missed this and I'm very glad he brought this great piece of Standard Pauper media to my attention.  I hereby correct myself like any good objective e-journalist should.  The offending text has been struck out to indicate where the mistake took place and a link to this message has been added to the text of the offending post.

I will also opine - once and only once since this is my first official correction here - that it's only we red-blooded Leftists and our pinko-brained progressive-leaning  pals who ever seem to submit such errata and make such displays of intellectual honesty.  A word on how one's politics and philosophy affects their informative and editorial output on the Internet:

Part of being right all the time like a true radical commie bastard like myself (or right at least some of the time like any progressive) is...being able to admit that you get things wrong sometimes!

Our consistently incorrect counterparts?  Your conservative-leaning liberal wimps and outright Right-winged reactionary wankers of the word?  Those fools never, ever seem to do this sort of thing. They just plain do not possess the intellectual integrity required for such behavior thanks to their idiotic ideology.  They are incapable of this.

If they did have the ability, acuity, humility, and/or sagacity to make editorial corrections to mistakes in their odious output...well, then they wouldn't lean to the right and be wrong all the time in the first place now, would they ;-)  They would cease to bear any resemblance to the Magic card that perfectly describes them...

Libertarian Anarcho-Capitalist Self Portrait, conservative oil on canvass, 2015, collaboration by Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, Alex Jones, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Ron and Rand Paul and the artist who actually performed all the work and didn't share in any of the profits.  So there.

Thanks for reading this piece from Cabel the Red's Bureau of Correctional and Re-Education Facilities. We now return to our regularly scheduled blog-jamming.  Thanks for reading and good luck & have fun with those new Dragons of Tarkir cards for all people who play Pauper on paper.  Peace,

- C

Treasure Cruise BANNED in Classic, WOTC Silent on Standard...

The ban hammer falleth! This is huge news for Rarity-Restricted Casual/Competitive Magic: the Gathering Players.  Wizards of the Coast has announce that, as of March 27th, players of Classic Pauper will no longer be able to pack this powerful card in their lists.  The ban announcement dropped yesterday will be effective on Magic Online, where Pauper is played most, on the 1st of April.

This is probably the right move.  In that format, it is clearly overpowered and, by extension, overused, resulting in a warped metagame where one is either playing the card and winning or not playing it and inviting immediate defeat.

The best scribe and sage of Classic Pauper is without a doubt Alex Ullman.  I got the news via his Twitter feed where I also found his incredibly comprehensive data and analyses and on the MTGO Pauper metagame on his Facebook notes.  Here is the recent iteration of that research that found that over two-thirds of 4-0 decks were running Treasure Cruise.

The evidence is overwhelming.  Treasure Cruise has warped Classic Pauper for the worse and therefore cannot be allowed in decks.  That conclusion is not alarming.  What is eye-raising is just how quickly this decision was made!  This happened much faster than previous efforts to ban such criminally overpowered cards as Cloudpost and Frantic Search.

As I recall, these took months of badgering Wizards with solid data and sound arguments to even get them to consider doing the right thing.  Hundreds of players had to send thousands of e-mails, threads on PDCMagic.com went on for weeks, months, For reference, here is ye olde Format Health Discussion thread in the Classic forum on PDCMagic.  Talk about a piece of community history right there!

(I say history because, well, as of this writing, the last post on that thread is dated way back in November.  Of 2013.  This should raise eyebrows...)

In any case, it seems these days the Duelists Convocation International is a bit more attentive to the needs of Pauper Magic players.  'Bout time!

...or are they??

But now we come to the big question: what does this mean for Standard Pauper?  It's kind of difficult to ascertain the answer to this question.  One need look no further than the "Many Ways to Play" page on the official Magic: The Gathering website to confirm that WotC doesn't care a lick about the format or its players.  Standard Pauper is not even on the list!

Bow down  before the one you serve / You're gonna get what you deserve

Wow... 

Much customer service... 

 Such support informative...

Many a happy stock-holder...  

How wealthy chief executive officers....

Shorter Mark Rosewater:

Bow down to New World Order!  

Gag me with a Strix...

Sarcasm aside (and I get to be sarcastic when WotC is obviously ignoring us Standard Pauper players) this banning poses serious questions for our beloved format. Yet because Wizards shows us Standard Pauper players absolutely zero respect, these questions are nearly impossible to answer at this point.

I do not use Magic Online anymore (because the software is not functional and infuriating) so I cannot confirm beyond communication with those who can still run the program whether or not Treasure Cruise is still legal in the format.  Of course, we won't know whether some bug due to the company's infamous inattentiveness to it's least financially well-off customers will screw things up for our community.  At least not until April 1st.  And don't expect them to figure out the answer to this all-important question before that date.

Why, you ask?  Well, I can answer that and the answer should be obvious by now.  It's because...

...WOTC doesn't give a flying FUCK about us and treats us like SHIT!!  

What else is new!?!? 

Beyond getting upset (although I maintain I have a right to be upset when a loyal customer gets treated like this), if indeed we can still run Treasure Cruise, will this have any impact on Standard Pauper?

For example, I wonder if Classic players fed up with the ban after having spend their hard-earned money on play-sets of Cruise be drawn to one of the last formats where the card is legal for play?  Or, might it re-ignite the conversation of whether or not to ban this card-drawing powerhouse in our favorite format?

The issue will not go to rest.  And it certainly won't be helped by silence - or outright shunning - from Wizards of the Coast and the DCI.

Standard Pauper gets no respect from these organizations that claim to care about their customers when it comes to their flagship product, especially the Magic Online community.  This is why I am organizing In Real Life events at my Local Games Shop.  Or, at least, I'm trying to....and if I don't get my answers, then it's not tournaments I'm going to organize....

...it's mutiny.

Now, my events are supposed to begin just one week from today.  I've got to be able to explain the deck construction legalities to my players in a way that makes competition fun and fair.  My goal is for our events to be consistent with the MPDC and SPDC events still being run Online (against all odds, no thanks to WotC!)

I cannot afford ambiguity like this.  I am trying to make sure that kids and adults with limited financial resources can still spend money on Magic cards, dammit!  To make sure a charming little shop doesn't go under because they've lost so many customer who believe (and their kind of right) that Magic is too bourgeois and expensive for a hobby.

That, and I just scoured all three shops in my area for the copies of Treasure Cruise I require in order to keep a few decks built in case a new player comes without a Standard Pauper deck so they can still discover how fun this format is.  So they can find out that you don't have to be a spoiled, smug, upper-class p.o.s. in order to enjoy a game that everybody should be able to enjoy.

If I don't get my answer - hell, if I don't even get some fucking respect and get Standard Pauper at least listed on the damned Formats page! - then I'll be left with no choice.  I'll give right the fuck up.

What's the deal, WotC?  Is Treasure Cruise going to remain legal in Standard Pauper or what?  Do you intend to even pretend to give a damn about me and other Standard Pauper players or not?  This is getting fucking frustrating and I'm not prepared to have my time wasted after putting in all this work to enjoy a game from a company that continues to show  us such disregard and disrespect.

To hell with the niceties.  You've got my money, Wizards.  Against my better judgment, I bought Magic cards from you in an attempt to continue enjoying this game and help others do the same. And this is the thanks I get!?  This is how you treat me and the other tournament organizers on Magic Online who help your game survive and bring in new customers despite your crappy treatment of us?

That entitles me to some damn answers.  

And it entitles me to be fucking pissed.

If I don't get my answers, then I'm done.  I will get off this boat for good.  Because while playing Magic: the Gathering for nearly twenty years has provided me with countless delights on the surface, I'm getting sea-sick at the dark schemes that run below this game...

Weekend Previews: Upcoming Drafting Trilogy and Standard Pauper Deck Challenges

Welcome back to Cabel the Pauper!  Everybody please silence your cell phones and take note that there there is No Exit!  Today's brief update is a teaser of what's to come and has been approved for all audiences by the International Committee of the Fourth, Fifth, or Sixth-and-a-Third Internationale (Depending on Who's Counting).

The following pieces are currently being composed and will hopefully challenge everything you know about blogging, drafting, and Standard Pauper, coming soon to an Internet connection near you.  In other words, here's what I'm working on for next week on my little blog:

"To Draft Or Not To Draft" will be an epic trilogy about ONE MAN and his heroic journey into the evolving wilds of limited play with limited resources.

BASS-BOOM-BOOM-BASS....

Will our hero find that the pen is mightier by the sword?

BOOM-BASS-BOOM-BASS-BOOM...

Or will his life by the sword result in his death by the sword?

BOOM-BASS-SUB-WOOF-BOOM-Boom-boom-bomb-bass-bass-fade-fade....

[insert cheesy advertising tagline and social media icons here]

In addition to this series, I shall chronicle a Standard Pauper deck challenge taking place tonight.  I will bring one of the top decks in the online Standard Pauper metagame to a Friday Night (Money) Magic event at my local game store.  There's already plenty of Web-based promotion for this endeavor posted on this thread at PDCMagic.com for more information.

Finally, I'll be making a very important announcement regarding competitive Standard Pauper play In Real Life by the end of next week.  If you're in my geographic area and are hard up for tickets and entry fees and as frustrated as I am with MTGOv4's lack of functionality, but still desire to play the best Magic: The Gathering ever devised, you definitely want remain seated and stay tuned...

That's all for previews this Friday.  I hope you enjoy your weekend, are able to sneak in your own refreshments without having to make any concessions in your casual or competitive gaming outings the next few days.  Thanks for reading and good luck & have fun!  Peace,

- C

Back to Blogging and The Five M's of Cabel the Pauper

It has been nearly a year since I have posted anything new here.  And what a year it was!  I shall spare the details for the sake of my readers and myself.  All you need to know for the purposes of this long-overdue post is this: I've returned to playing Magic: The Gathering in real life at the same time I am reforming my writing activities on the Internet.

That means it's time to get back to blogging here after breaking several promises to update regularly about Magic Online and far too many other topics.  On this Monday, I will begin (again!) by directing your attention to the changes already made and my plans for the future.

First of all, this blogs description in the header has been shortened from its former declamatory incarnation to be more concise and accurate regarding the intended content.  I've distilled what I'll be covering to one main point and five other interrelated interests of mine worth writing about.  The most important is now listed at the top of the page and the rest of these - all beginning with the letter "M" by some strange coincidence - you will find in a revised list of links in the sidebar.

Magic: the Gathering will be what I post about the majority of the time.  It will not be about bourgeois Money Magic formats, which I oppose. Instead, this will be the place for what I have christened Rarity-Restricted Casual/Competitive styles of play.  I explained what this was in the post immediately preceeding this one three days shy of one year ago.  If you are unfamiliar with what this approach to Magic is, I encourage you to find out below or by clicking the link provided.

In fact, I intend to make it known to you and every other Magic player I come into contact with.  Much, much more on this in future posts.

Last, but not least, are the other Five M's of Cabel the Pauper.  I will elaborate on these sub-topics in the future.  For now, two elements of each are alluded to in parentheses as sub-headers for the new link lists featured to your right.  Here they are for reference below:

• Marxism (Philosophy & Politics)
• Meditation (Buddhist & Franciscan)
• Music (Performance & Enjoyment)
• Mixology (Professionalism & Recovery)
• Media (Social & Traditional)

You'll note that there are five of these just as there are five colors in Magic: The Gathering.  The idea here is to connect these areas of interest and inquiry to the game itself, as well as combine them together in the same way the five colors join forces into guilds, shards, and wedges.

Perhaps someday I'll be good enough a writer to compose a piece that connects all six!  But that post is for another day and, after having said all that needs to be said for now, this post itself has become too magniloquent.

In closing, I hope you enjoy the new format and subject matter.  This time I make no promises with regard to a set blogging schedule. But I plan to explain reasons for returning to playing Magic: The Gathering in real life as opposed to Online; for returning here instead of continuing to post elsewhere on the Internet; and for settling upon these specific five topics.

It's good to be back!  Thanks for reading and following along and good luck to the Standard Pauper players still struggling with Magic Online.  Peace,

- C