Cabel's Critique of a New Release: Dragons of Tarkir - Black Commons for Standard Pauper

By the end of this blog, we'll be more than halfway through the darkness of a set review that might have gone too long.  But we've come to far to stop now!  Though the night looks darkest, we must get through Black, the color of despair...

Black! The dark of ages past!  Black!  The blog that ends at last!!

I guess I had to work in a Les Miserables reference that kind of belongs here.  Black is home to some pretty miserable design failures that are just plain disappointing as Magic cards.  Despite this fact, the black commons in Dragons of Tarkir are home to what many players have dubbed the best card in the entire set.  There's no new archetypes that present themselves as in Green and Red, but instead, existing black decks get plenty of new tools to solidify such things as UB Devotion as constant metagame forces.

So without further adieu, Cabel's Critique of a New Release: Dragons of Tarkir for Standard Pauper continues with...

BLACK

Butcher's Glee

This trick recalls two other from the past due to a two-word sentence: "Regenerate it."  These are both still legal in Standard Pauper:  Theros's Boon of Erebos and M15's Necrobite,  neither one currently played in the format,  probably because we figured out back in Innistrad block (where Necrobite debuted) that it looks good on paper, but  doesn't result in any competitive glee.  But this time, it's also a decent-sized pump spell that grants lifelink.  That's very helpful when trading up.  And if you're connecting to the dome, it's a six-point swing.  Still, at three mana, it teeters at the threshold  of what demanding Spikes deem "playable."  So I remain undecided.

Cabel's Critique: PASS


Coat With Venom

Here is another trick that also brings Necrobite mind thanks to the "deathtouch until end of turn" clause.  We've seen this before at common, on the aforementioned black spells and way back in Lorwyn with Lace with Moonglove.  Again, neither card saw competitive play in Standard Pauper.  But those were three whole mana.  At a single black, this is as cheap as they come.  And with a +1/+2 boost tacked on to it, it might even get there.  On the other hand, this is Black we're talking about.  In this color, your removal is usually better when it can operate when your board is empty.  I hate to repeat myself, but this is neither a fail or a win until we see what it can do.  I'll note that I am pleased with WotC's design team for having essentially sliced an old bad card in twain the way they have with these first two entries in the black Dragons commons.

Cabel's Critique: PASS

Defeat

Now that's what I'm talking about!  Just kill the creature already, no board required, no strings attached.  Well, except for that little limitation on how big a dude you can kill off. The Standard Pauper format is always awash in small dudes.  This takes out every major threat in the Heroic decks before they become unmanageable, all the tokens produced in White and the Izzet control build, and even hits the most powerful creature in the format, Gary himself.  Add to this an elegant single-word name that was just waiting to see print, an attractive piece of artwork, and flavor text that appears to have been lifted from Sun Tzu's "Art of War" itself and it appears we have a win-

-er...

...this is a Sorcery.  Not an instant!  This should clearly have been an instant.  But it's not.  For no good reason.  Oh, the agony of Defeat!  Why, Wizards, why?  You were so close with this one.  So damn close it's not even funny.  Had this been given the correct card type, it would have been one of the best designed black cards at common ever printed in Magic's history.  But R&D and Mr. Rosewater want to have their "New World Order" conspiracy, and that, fellow Paupers, is why we can't have nice things.

So I take back all the nice things I had to say about this piece.  The printing of this at bad sorcery peed instead of useful instant is a slap in the face I refuse to forgive.  Y'know what did here, Wizards?  You defeated your own purpose and you failed your customers.

Cabel's Critique: FAIL

Duress

Now discard of this nature belongs at sorcery.  And it's nice that we have this back in the Standard Pauper arsenal after rotating out post M14.  My guess is that we are going to see more cards that are traditionally from Core Sets beign reprtined in expansion now that Cores are being phased out.  We are very familiar with how incredibly good this card has been and always will be.  In the current metagame, it's fantastic against Izzet Control, which runs nothing but noncreature spells.  But it's not really a new design.  This puts me on the fence.  I'll have to make up a new category of criticism for this...

Cabel's Critique: BOARD

Dutiful Attendant

Finally, we have a clear winner that I can declare as a win right off the bat.  This is plenty good on its face for modern-day black recursion effects stamped on to a creature (now that Gravedigger has been foolishly moved up in rarity...more "New World Order" nonsense).  As the good folks at the MagicGatheringStrat Show mentioned in their awesome Standard Pauper set review (watch it here...do it!) this exists alongside the new Exploit mechanic.  And it really is the perfect creature to Exploit.  I fully expect this to see some play.  Even if I'm wrong it doesn't make the cut, I still maintain it's a fantastic design complete with a name that does not tie it to Tarkir, so we may very well see this return in future sets.  This is Magic perfection in ink on cardboard.  Finally!

Cabel's Critique: WIN

Flatten

Speaking of "New World Order" conspiracy, this should further dispel the idea that any such thing exists at R&D.  Two sets after Khans gave us the terrible, awful, expensive Throttle - good only in Limited - we get a reduction in mana cost that this effect deserves.  And unlike the failure (the agony!) of Defeat, this is an instant.  As decent removal should be.  It may not see much play or be a staple, but it could easily prove itself in the format.  Regardless of whether it becomes a Standard Pauper staple or another forgotten spell, the design is still fantastic and meets my high standards.

Cabel's Critique: WIN

Foul-Tongue Shriek

Warning: I'm taking this foul-tongued stuff quite literally because I'm a grown-up who will exercise my right to cuss when it's appropriate, and this card name makes it so.  So here goes ...

Damn, bitch!  Don't fuck with any Orzhov Tokens decks after this shit drops!  Your ass better have some permission to stop this life-swinging house or Black is  going to have permission to fuck you up!

Forgive me, I had to :-)  But I mean what I say: this piece might enable a token strategy in black the way Impact Tremors is going to enable a red tokens deck.  And if the two cares join forces in a Rakdos Tokens build?  That might be Magical Christmasland thinking, but the potential is there.  So with such a potentially huge swing for only one black mana and a bad ass name and artwork to go with it, I can't help but give this a top-notch review.  And have my fun doing it!

Cabel's Critique: WIN

Gravepurge

Returning all the way from Dark Ascenion comes Gravepurge, which itself was a flavorful renaming of Lorwyn block's Foodbottom Feast.  One can use this as it's always been used: get one dude back instantly, or stack your top deck with a bunch of deceased critters and grab the most important one first.  In a Gray Merchant metagame, this can easily bring your deck back from the dead (just be careful when deciding which spells to Delve out of your yard when you cast your Treasure Cruise!).  Couple this with some killer dragon-style artwork from the ever-talented Nils Hamm, and I'm giving this a win even if it is a reprint.

Cabel's Critique: WIN

Hand of Silumgar

First let me get my hands around that pronunciation.  Sil.  Um. Gar.  Okay, got it. Next, let me wrap my head around why design space is begin wasted on functional reprints that have no impact on the Standard Pauper metagame in the first place.  This is a Child of Night that isn't even a Vampire.  Or any manner of undead for that matter.  It's just a Warrior, and Warriors are trained in the art of combat.  It's your Clerics, Shamans, and Witches that get trained in magic, not fighter class variants.  The flavor isn't there and neither is the application for the format.  This card can talk to the hand.

Cabel's Critique: FAIL

Kolaghan Skirmisher

Ever since Walking Corpse debuted and finally gave Black its Grizzly Bear (even if they didn't name it Grisly Bear, which would have been the best way to do things) the color seems to have been getting 2/2's for 1B with even more tacked on.  This one lets you Dash it in for an extra mana.  And then have to Dash it in again.  Once again, I'm in agreement with the crew at MagicGatheringStrat: the casting cost and Dash cost should have been flipped here.

Cabel's Critique:  FAIL




Marsh Hulk

What IS this?  "Vengeance is his sole purpose?"  I don't THINK so.  The sole purpose of this card is to be a bad card.  So that players can understand that bad cards exist, I suppose.  Which is a poor excuse I will always vehemently disagree with: bad cards exist so that Wizards of the Coast and Hasbro's stock-holders can get fat and rich for doing no work while down-on-their-luck fans who open this in their packs feel even worse about the cards life deals them, dammit.   That is disgusting.  Absolutely disgusting and fucking insulting.  So it's not just a mere fail.  Instead, I'm giving this a proper authoritative communist's verdict, with no merciful show trial required.

Cabel's Critique: PURGE!

Mind Rot

Here's another constantly reprinted card.  It's already available in M15, as it should be in a Core Set.  In an expansion, however, this card and its blue cousin, Divination, is just wasted design space.  Laziness on the part of R&D.  Whatsamatter, guys?  Couldn't come up with anything that happens if a Dragon card is discarded?  Couldn't reduce the cost in exchange for some life loss? Or anything else acceptable to Black's philosophy?  Couldn't wait until the new no-cores, all-blocks schedule to give this back after a brief absence at the very least?  If you ask me, it's the design and development teams that are suffering from rotting gray matter.

Cabel's Critique: FAIL


Qarsi Sadist

That's better.  This is a creative and flavorful fellow.  There are plenty of black one drops than can outlive their usefulness for the Sadist to exploit.  A four point swing for only half the mana is no joke and I've always liked it.  And if it's a Dutiful Attendant you are exploiting, you just got some black-as-hell value.  Not a bad piece o art, either, and a very black piece of flavor text that brings up some interesting philosophical issues on martyrdom in collectivism for me.  Well done, sirs (but don't think this sacrifice earns you any redemption from your previous failures).

Cabel's Critique:  WIN

Reckless Imp

Now a 2/2 flyer in black for only three mana is always good.  To hell with whether it can block or not.  That just isn't Black aggro's thing.  But the ability to start swinging in with it on turn two is gold.  I'm tempted to sneak this into my the Demonic Duel Deck.  It's just perfect for it.  Maybe in the future we'll see it get a slot in a Divine vs. Demonic 2.0 update.  For now, this Imp makes me a happy overlord.

Cabel's Critique:  WIN





Shambling Goblin

For all my unyielding criticism of WotC R&D, I think it's clear by now that I will not hesitate to praise them if they've correct past design flaws.  This is one such example.  And what a correction it is!  Back in the day, your Festering Goblin would place you in a quandary if the only creature to give -1/-1 to was on your side of the battlefield.  Not so any longer with this decaying little dude.  This is the closest we'll get to the awesome Fume Spitter from Scars of Mirrodin, and since Exploit is a mechanic, it might be just as well that you cannot just sacrifice it to get the removal any longer.  And those beady yellow eyes?  Well, now.  That's the best Zombie Goblin my boring brown eyes have ever seen.  Well done, Wizards!

Cabel's Critique:  WIN

Sibsig Icebreakers

First of all, I have to say this: do we really need card names that recall heavily-marketed, over-priced chewing gum that loses its flavor faster than 88 miles per hour?  Think before you name a card, guys.  Think, McFly, think!

Apart from that, 2/3's for three are not the worst thing in Standard Pauper, but they're also not the best.  Having to discard a card of your own means you'll have to be careful and cast this only when it's the last piece in your grip...unless, of course, you just need to toss one last land to can cast that Treasure Cruise at fully-charged Ancestral Recall power.  So aside from the strange name (can Zombies walk and chew gum at the same time?) I suppose I'll be a benevolent dictator here.

Cabel's Critique: WIN


Silumgar Butcher

Expensive Hill Giant is expensive.  But wait!  The Exploit ability on this makes up for it.  Unless you're playing this card wrong and Exploiting it to yourself.  If Throttle was bad at instant speed, then sorcery speed almost-Throttle is terrible.  But if your opponent has been playing around your 1/1 deathtouch rats and snakes or you've got that Black Cat lying about while the enemy is hanging on to his trump card and hoping his 3/3 will get there?  Then you can ruin his day the way only a Black mage can.  It may not be awesome.  But paired with that impaled djinn, I can give a good Vincent Price evil laugh while playing this card.

Cabel's Critique: WIN

Vulturous Aven

At long last, we come to the cream of the crop.  Vulturous Aven might well be the best card in the set out of any color, period.  As Gwyned over at Writer Adept has observed, this is a very high toughness for a black flying creature.  As for me, I was an instant fan of Sign in Blood when it debuted in M10 and I've been using as many copies as I can ever since.  I mainly loved the fact that it could go to your opponent's face to win the game if necessary.  The later variations on Sign (Read the Bones and Bitter Revelation, both also available in Standard Pauper at the moment) removed this ability.  Though Vulturous Aven doesn't give us the option of going straight to the dome, we do get ourselves a 2/3 with evasion.  Which is even better.  And huge!

Now your Sign in Blood (at the expense of a mere 1/1 you've got lying around) can end up doing a lot more than two damage.  How much?  Depends on how much removal you packed into your black deck.  Imagine if you draw enough to clear this Vulture's path and end up dealing all the damage you need to win the game, then the match, then the whole tournament?  This is extremely likely.  By no stretch of the imagination.  That's why you're going to see Vulturous Aven being played in Standard Pauper for as long as it's legal.  And that's why it's the best damn card in the whole damn set.

Cabel's Critique:  WIN!

Wandering Tombshell

Well, how do you expect to follow an act like Vulturous Aven?  Turtles all the way down, man.  If I had no knowledge of Bertrand Russell, I'd get no enjoyment out of this.  And that still doesn't compensate for awful statistics that have no competitive applications.  Or the wildly unattractive monochrome artwork.  Sorry to end on a low note, but this is nothing to write home about at all, so I'll write no more.

Cabel's Critique: FAIL

After all that, I have to conclude that the Black cards in Dragons of Tarkir are somewhat of a mixed bag.  We've got probably the worst cards in the set here.   But that Vulture makes up for it.  And when playing competitively in Standard Pauper, I don't need to win everything outright to be happy.  Breaking even works for me, and Black breaks even in this set.  Not too great, not too bad.

We're almost done with the most extensive - and hopefully entertaining - set review for the Standard Pauper metagame.  After a break for the rest of the weekend, I'll return with the Blues and the Whites to finish things off.  I hope you're enjoying the series and please don't hesitate to share your thoughts on how ridiculously long and awful it is down there in the comments :-)  Have a good weekend and good luck & have fun, especially it you're heading to a Pre-Release event!  Peace,

- C

To Draft or Not to Draft: Pack 1 - To the Left

We begin our story on the battlefield of the mind.  Our establishing shot pans out to the staging ground: a small room with a tiny desk and an inexpensive yet functional laptop computer.  Its wallpaper is an image of the flag of Cuba with an iconic image of Che Guevara in a bright burning red.  There are .txt files littered all over the desktop.

Rough drafts prior to editing.

There is a bed, unmade, and some dirty clothes and Magic card boxes scattered about the floor, but not too many of either.  For the most part, the room is organized with plenty of books.  They are arranged by subject matter, from philosophy to religion to the art of languages, including a row of various Bible translations.  Also present are several spiral-bound and composition notebooks and small writing pads.

Notes before drafting even begins.

It's clear we have a writer here, one who apparently cares deeply about the act of writing.  Yet many have not heard from him on his usual platform.  The same is true of his Magic playing habits, but that is for the second part of this trilogy on drafting.

Today, we examine the importance of drafting when it comes to writing, the crisis that this presents in our current climate where most writing takes place, and lead in to how this relates to those Magic cards lying on the floor when our heroes primary collection was, until recently, only accessible as digital object behind the computer screen instead of readily available in his bedroom.

But first, let me get my pronouns consistent and clean up some run-on sentences!  Our hero is me.  And my sentences are still far too long.  If I do not shorten them via editing by referencing my nearby copy of Strunk & White's Elements of Style, our hero (damn, I did it again!) may never reach the end of this epic, three-part trilogy (damn...redundancy!).

Kindly allow me a moment to go from the first Revised version to the corrected current edition...

Ah, that's better!  And it illustrates my point perfectly.  When it comes to writing, the most important step is drafting.  This is the key to the steps of writing.  Let's review how we get from the beginning to the all-important middle long before we reach the end-goal: 

First, you obtain a spark where you come to know or want to know something.  This is not unlike when a Planeswalker experiences her transformative spark!

Next, you go about taking notes on the subject, obtaining knowledge about it, especially if you think you already know everything about it!  Because you never do.  You are not a know-it-all.  Nobody knows everything.  Never has, never will.  Keep this point in mind before, during, and after drafting.

Once your notes are taken, it's time to organize the mess you made.  Do this aftersleeping on it a day or so as marathon writing sessions are not adviseable.  Neither are binge watching or drinking sessions for that matter.  You'll get out your notebooks and begin to connect the ideas, flesh them out, and create lists as a plan of action for putting it all together.

This is quite similar to constructing a Pauper deck you intend to be competitive with instead of just casually throwing something together for fun - but I'll tackle that in pack two after a break.  And it's best to take some breaks from this step as well.

In fact, when doing any sort of work, one really should be allowed a temporal break so the body and mind can recover.  The fact that the capitalist social conditions of wage-slavery don't adequately allow for this is a different topic for a different day...

And now you are finally prepared to create your first rough draft.  These I consider to be the most important pieces of writing one can put to paper.  Or input into a word processing program, as it were.  Only once these are finished can you get some idea as to how well your ideas are fitting together.  Then, and only then, can you decide whether the piece is good enough to refine via editing and perfect through a grammar check.

Only after taking these steps of drafting and revising will the final composition be ready for publication.  For sleeving up and shuffling for your readers to cut before drawing and opening hand, if you will.

Or, if you've come up with absolute drivel again (this happens constantly if you write like you mean it) then you'll know that the draft is irredeemable.  You return to the beginning of the process working backwards from the outlines, lists, notes, and even your initial idea.  You'd best take a break here, too, because having your draft fail is pretty rough.  Hence the name: rough draft.  Don't let that frazzle you.

Here is the where we reach the conflict in my story.  It is not the struggle with myself to compose better pieces of writing.  No.  In this story, I'd like to be the hero and make things all about me.  Yet where most writing takes place these days - here on the Internet - the judgment of villain is the one most frequently cast upon me.

I disagree!  I maintain that the problem with writing on the Internet is this: the vast majority of people who use it to post their thoughts on social media and other blogs just plain do not know how to write.  They fail to follow these steps.  Most of the time, one can tell that all they did was draft and immediately publish.  To say nothing of any initial thought, research, or organization as the required  first steps to proper composition, most people on Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, and through e-mail and text messages clearly just type away as quickly as possible, click "send" or "post" or "tweet" with nary a second though, and then move on to the the next fleeting distraction.

This is has made it crystal clear that most people, including grown adults who should know better, have very little writings skills, if at all.  And having gotten high marks in schools for my English speaking and writing skills, and recieved consistent praise in person for my communication skills, I reject their poorly-written replies to my accusations that their writing is incomprehensibly bad.

It's one of the main reasons I've removed myself from Facebook, as you may recall from a previous post.  One of the reasons I've done this is because I just cannot take it any longer, it being the  reading through a daily (hourly) glut of ridiculously atrocious writing posted by 99% of people - and how woefully wrong their points are because of how little thought they've put into their rough drafts which, of course, were never drafted in the first place!

To me, this is infuriating , saddening, debilitating, and yet inspirational all at once.  So if you'll forgive my  regressomg into a rant of sorts...

Honestly, folks!  The following is not an example of a damned sentence:

"They shud just all go bak 2 there cuntry!1!!!"  

Not only is it far from being well written, the idea being expressed is disgustingly, hopelessly, and wickedly - sinfully! - wrong to begin with.  It's ignorance!  It's racism!  As socially deplorable as it is grammatically incorrect!

I see this kind of thing over and over again when it comes to people who refer to non-whites with racial epithets; to men who think women are a lesser sex and refer to them all as "sluts"; who think those without jobs are simply "lazy", who express that those who struggle to survive mental illness are just "crazy" and should be quarantined to a deserted island.

In my vast exploration of the Internet, I have come to a conclusion that I stand upon like a house founded upon rock: most of the worst examples of horrible grammar express the most horrifying ideas imaginable.

Now I've been doing this America Online tied up my parents phone line.  But even though I can continue to write, I remain firm in my decision to halt my practice of regular posting in response to this nonsense and bigotry on social media.

Why?

The answer lies in more than just my approach to writing.  The main reason is the content I write about and the context  in which I present it.  My philosophical and political attitudes are exactly the opposite and vehemently opposed to the average American citizen.  These are the crypto-fascist, pro-capitalist, frankly Cro-Magnon to Neaderthalic types of writing that are merely rough drafts of a brutal ideology called neoliberal capitalism.  I provided an example of the same regarding immigrant workers as and introduction to my desperate ravings...

I am no liberal capitalist.  I am a Leftist with a capital L (liberals are not even leftists with an uncapitalized letter, but try explaining that essential element of political philosophy to these linguistically deficient ingrates). I disdain to conceal the fact that I am a socialist in the Marxists tradition.

My social media and blog posts - as well as those of my comrades on the Left - are good pieces of writing.  They are well-presented arguments, thoughtful points regarding the conflict between capitalism and communism.  Above all, they are grammatically correct with far more consistency the than elementary liberal bullshit - conservative and progressive - currently clogging up the plumbing of the World Wide Web.

In fact, one of the main reasons I settled upon this side of the political spectrum was the writing.  It was the Leftists who were adhereing to the rules of the King's English and the liberals who continuously bastardized the languages' core principles of grammar, syntax, spelling, and punctuation.

What a relief it was to see a complete sentence!  What a joy to see commas separating the clauses therein!  How happy to find puns and other ingenious, ironic literary devices hidden among these compositions aimed at the idiot right-winger in a way that only we true Leftists could fully understand to further enhance our enjoyment of political and philosophical debate!

After exploring philosophy and familiarizing myself with Marxist, socialist, communist, and anarchist ideas and seeing clearly how their present-day adherents were the ones who knew how to write in contrast to the incoherent, incorrect ramblings of liberals - both progressive and conservative! - I had no choice but to solidfy which side I was meant to be on.  And I started to draft and revise pieces of writing to post online about it.  Day in and day out.

But...the problem with this is connected to what I spoke of in the first couple of blogs I published here upon my return to Cabel the Pauper.  It is another piece of me that, while I am good at writing lengthly arguments against the wicked Right-Wing reactionaries in favor of the right wing (the Left!), I ended up doing it too much.  Way too damned much.  And because I insist that my writing be perfected after drafting first, this resulted in far too much time wasted.  I finally realized where this daily excursion into argumentation was getting me.

That's right.  Nowhere.

So while I remain proud of my writing skills and as confident as ever in the superiority of my Leftist  positions, there is another saying that is not a double entendre the way my "To Draft or Not to Draft" title is meant to be:

"Pride comes before the fall."  

Indeed, I'd fallen deep into a Facebook hole of excellent Leftists arguments against the deep-seated racism, sexism, classism, etc., inherent these neoliberal, ungrammatical United States.

All my perfect paragraphs were ever met with were misspelled non-sentences taking me completely out of context.  And viciously declaring me such things as "faggot" and "asshole," with instructions to  "go fuck yourself," or "move to Cuba!"  Because apparently the average American liberal's reading comprehension is as good as their ability to compose a complete sentence: tragically terrible.

What's worse: they were insulting and incredibly mean.  It reached the point where it affected me emotionally to the point of depression so deep I found myself asking, as Hamlet did, whether I should continue to be or not to be...

So when I ask the question "To draft or not to draft?" on the topic of writing on social media, the answer is a like a Resounding Roar: Yes.

But after hard casting my diatribes one too many times and not being able to get full value out of this play, I concluded it was time to break the cycle and stick to blogging mostly about Magic: The Gathering Rarity-Restricted Casual/Competitive formats and the 5M's of Cabel the Pauper only once in awhile.  And to do it here on Blogspot as opposed to social media where doing little more beating a dead horse. Literally and literarily,  like that misogynist, bigoted, syphilis-ridden windbag Nietzsche.

As such, from now on, you'll find some political and philosophical posts here once or twice a month to provide a little bit more than just Magic: The Gathering.  These posts will remain uncommon or rare because I'll be spending a good deal of time writing them properly: by drafting them first.  Because when it comes to writing, the answer to the  question "To Draft Or Not To Draft" must be....

 DRAFT!

Thanks for reading.  Part two of this mini-series will appear in hopefully a weeks' time, depending on how drafting it goes.  And this time we'll switch topics to drafting Magic: the Gathering and why the answer to that question is...well  first, I've got to draft it!

Until then, thank you for reading what I worked long and hard one once again.  And good luck & have fun in all your endeavors, Magical and literal. Peace,

- C

Cabel's Critique of a New Release: Dragons of Tarkir - Red Commons for Standard Pauper

Red has been my favorite color of Magic since I started playing the game.  Whenever a new set of cards is released, it's always the Red cards that I am most excited about...and also most critical of.  I demand efficient burn, tight curves, and aggressive flavor to fit both the indivdualist pyromancer and the radical collectivist in me.

So forgive me, dear reader, if my critique of this color took some extra time.  Being a Red philosopher in real life requires a lot more thought than the impulsive stereotype given to us by the M:TG Color Pie philosophy.  But after giving things a good look, I can conclude that just like Green got pieces for a new Stompy deck, the Reds of Dragons of Tarkir present us with the opportunity to get a fast Tokens deck in Standard Pauper.

¡Prepárate! Apunta! ¡Fuego!  The conditions for Cabel's Critique of a New Release: Dragons of Tarkir - Red Commons for Standard Pauper are correct.  ¡Comencemos!

RED

Atarka Efreet

A hefty five power for four mana is scary, but a single point of toughness is vulnerable.  Very red!  And the Megamorph ability seems relatively inexpensive compared to the others.  If I'm playing a Red Deck and I've not yet hit my fourth land drop, I can still purchase a 6/2 in two installments and get a classic ping out of it, killing one of my opponent's dorks or hitting his dome.  This is a great Red Deck Wins pick!

Cabel's Critique: WIN





Dragon Fodder

Yes!  If Lightning Bolt is my favorite red instant of all time from when I first started playing the game in 1995, then Dragon Fodder has become the red sorcery nearest and dearest to me thanks to the role its played in my Pauper career.  This was great as half the Fodder-into-Giantbaiting combo during Lorwyn-Alara Standard Pauper; in the next season, this was run alongside Zendikar's Bushwhacker, then as a piece in an Eldrazi Tokens deck.  And after Alara rotated,  I couldn't help but try my hand at a Modern Pauper deck or try to pack this into my Classic Goblins build against the advice of more experienced players.

Since Fodder left us, we've had a functional reprint in the form of Krenko's Command.  However, Standard Pauper just didn't have the metagame for a tokens build at that time.  Presently, this is very tempting to include in the creatureless Izzet Control Tokens list.  Dragon Fodder can provide excellent aggressive openers or just buy some time with a pair of ugly red chumps.  Truthfully, this reprint alone has me excited about Dragons of Tarkir.  Awesome spell is awesome, now and forever.

Cabel's Critique: WIN

Hardened Berserker

Again, I'm all over creatures with power equal to their mana cost.  In red, this gets even higher marks.  But there are plenty of these around, giving  Berserker stiff competition.  I'm also reminded of  M15's Generator Servant, which excited many as ramp  engine.  Yet as the MPDC & SPDC seasons proceeded, we didn't see the little guy enabling any fast red decks.  I'm betting this Berserker suffers the same fate.  Also, red is supposed to get fast mana according to the color pie...but only temporarily.  This is a permanent.  And a Berserker? Making spells less expensive is a very Shamanistic thing to do.  Oops!  The flavor team forget to mix things properly again.  They shook things up when they should have stirred, a pet peeve for this Magical mixologist.

Cabel's Critique: FAIL


Impact Tremors

Standard Pauper actually sees its share of tokens decks, believe it or not.  I hope to chronicle these in a future post.  For our purposes today, I look back again to Alara-Zendikar Standard, in which two key pieces allowed Red Green Tokens to be a strong contender.  Hissing Iguanar allowed the Tokens player to get a point of direct damage for each creature that died, and tiny tokens die very often. Additionally, Raid Bombardment sealed the deal to let us get another point of damage as soon as a token was declared as an attacker with no need to actually connect with the opponent.

Compared to both of these, Impact Tremors isn't only every bit as good...it's an incredible improvement!  So much so that I'm almost pinching myself here wondering if this is not a misprint.  This will have enormous impact on Standard Pauper if I have anything to do with it (I'll even muse that this has Classic applications that will have aftershocks in Goblins like nothing since Bushwhacker himself!) Instead of having to wait to set up my tokens first and then cast my three mana enabler, this baby drops a full turn earlier.  And I get the damage immediately, when Red wants it.

This screams build-around-me and this token-loving, red-blooded Pauper is going to do just that because I just can't help myself.   And you better show this card some love because after this drops, you're going to want to be packing some enchantment hate in your sideboard.  This card will certainly live up to it's name.

Cabel's Critique: WIN

Kindled Fury

After those three winners, we come to my first failure in Dragons of Tarkir.  I might easily be wrong about this card this time thanks to the presence of Heroic and Prowess in the format, but simply reprinting this card again after first appearing in Morningtide and several core sets where it did not perform well has me skeptical.  It's also competing with the established Heroic/Prowess enablers in Standard Pauper and this just doesn't do much by comparison.  Precious new design space is wasted here, and that's a shame.

Cabel's Critique: FAIL



Kolaghan Aspirant

Don't be fooled by the new name.  This is a reprint, too.  But not a functional one.  It's a strictly worse Ashmouth Hound, which would deal its damage whether it was blocked or was the blocking creature.  That was a good Red Deck Wins dude back when Innistrad was legal.  But in its new Human form, we don't get the damage if we're forced to stand on the defensive.  Wizards can't dumb down cards like that without my eye catching it and casting a disdainful glare downwards.

Cabel's Critique: FAIL

Kolaghan Stormsinger

Here we have a simple Raging Goblin with a bunch of extra text.  Does all that text indicate anything less complex, Mr. New World Order?  No.  This is another indicator that Mr. Rosewater's little "this is how we make commons, now" conspiracy theory is either inconsistent or nonexistent.  Getting back to the card itself, I guess this can even out your aggressive curve if you need a 1/1 haste on turn one or would like a fast 2/2 to swing in along with a three-drop that you essentially give a kicker to, but...I think tokens are going to be a better strategy in Red after Dragons.  A wall of text on a Raging Goblin doesn't get a nod from me.  Also, the artwork is a knockoff of Swiftboot Boots.  Lame.

Cabel's Critique:  FAIL


Lose Calm

In addition to token generators, another favorite element of Red was formerly a Blue ability.  Grabbing hold of an opponents creature, even temporarily, can be a major game changer.  For this reason, I often slip a copy of Act of Treason into my Red Deck sideboards.  That card is already available in Standard Pauper.  I can even select an M15 or Khans printing to get a little Vorthos in my deck-building.  But once we add another mana to the cost, things get a little different.  I'm not sure if the psuedo-evasion here is worth it.  And "Lose Calm"?  Really?  Instead of "Lose Control"?  That's another obvious card-naming mistake.  A pretty big one at that.  I can't like it.

Cabel's Critique: FAIL

Magmatic Chasm

There's usually something like this in every set.  And they always require quite a bit of set-up.  When they have prohibitive conditions that provide an exemption for your opponent, the set-up gets even harder.  In Standard Pauper, your power decks at the moment are packing plenty of fliers.  You're better off constructing your deck with more threats to break through them than relying on this Limited trick.

Cabel's Critique:  FAIL





Sabertooth Outrider

A straight up 4/2 for four mana is fine.  Give it trample with no conditions and you've got a good candidate for the top of your curve in any Standard Pauper environment.  Moving on to his Formidable ability, Outrider gets you halfway there.  And to add first strike to trample is an excellent combination of keyword abilities that I can't recall seeing on any card before.  A quick search confirms: this is the first time both Trample and First Strike have appeared on the same card!  That alone is a huge step forward in common card design.  Therefor, we have a winner!

Cabel's Critique:  WIN

Sarkhan's Rage

As a dedicated Pauper, Peasant, and proletarian planeswalker, I'm not too fond of the Planeswalker card-type or the way Wizards is clearly trying to entice players to spend unaffordable sums trying to chase them by naming commons and uncommons after them.  In addition, Planeswalker-themed non-rares have proved themselves to be inferior pieces time after time.  This is no exception.  An instant speed Lava Axe that can hit creatures is nice, but five mana is still a lot.  In fact, it's too damn much.

As for the drawback?  I guess you can avoid it if you find yourself able to generate ten whole mana and still have your Lightning Shrieker in play...except if you're playing red aggro and reached ten mana, it means you're losing.  Besides: Lightning Shrieker is the worst Lava Axe ever printed in the first place!  Think about it: would you play a Lava Axe that your opponent can block or "counter" with removal when they're not even playing Blue?  No.  So you shouldn't play another bad Lava Axe that requires to run an even worse Lava Axe for it to get full value.  That makes this, hands down, the worst red card in Dragons of Tarkir.

Cabel's Critique:  FAIL!


Stormreach Brawler

If you can't tell yet, my attitude toward Red cards are rather strong.  I've been able to make up my mind quickly and solidly up[ until reachin this fellow.  I will say a few things about flavor: first, I'm glad Orcs were finally brought back to the racial lexicon in this block.  Second, Berserker is the perfect class for this race.  Next, 2/3 for 2R is not bad.  The ability to Dash him into play for two mana makes for a nice turn two play before dropping him permanently the next land drop.  But if you haven't noticed, there are other things I'm much more excited about the second turn after Dragons drops.  So I'm not sure if this dude is going to make the cut or end up playing a key role.

Cabel's Critique:  PASS


Sprinting Warbrute

As it turns out, I'm as sure about the Ogre as I am about the Orc just discussed.  He's a big old beater, for sure, with a power equal to his toughness when hard cast.  Dashing him in puts him ahead of the curve, which seems even better.  But even though I'm Red at heart and love swinging in for the kill, sometimes you just have to hold back and that "anger" ability (which hasn't been keyworded yet...just saying) can end up being more liability than asset.  I'm not sure about this guys ugly mug, either.

Cabel's Critique:  SWING



Summit Prowler

And here we have the fifth vanilla 4/3 for 2RR in Magic's history.  This time it's a Yeti.  It has six lines of flavor text now.  You can run this and the fourth vanilla 4/3 for 2RR from Theros block now.  That one has eight lines of italics.  I don't think I'll be getting more lines outta this abominable functional reprint than that.  Boring card is boring.  And yet...I have seen Standard Pauper decks in the past running eight 4/3's for 2RR as their big beaters do well in the past.  It's possible.  Even it ain't that exciting.  So despite my snarky dismall of how dull this card is, as a critical judge, I can't fail it.

Cabel's Critique:  CHUMP

Tail Slash

In a format where Fall of the Hammer exists, there is no reason to play this.  Tail Slash is strictly worse on a couple levels.  It does almost the same thing but for an extra mana, and three-mana removal is much, much worse than two-mana counterparts.  Also, Fall of the Hammer allows you to target any other creature, including one you control if you want to set up some kind of death trigger on your side of the board.  So for the extra cost we get fewer options?  I don't think so.

Cabel's Critique:  FAIL




Tormenting Voice

Here we have another reprint.  And boy howdy was that fast!  Tormenting Voice first appeared in Khans and I liked it as a splashable update to Wild Guess.  So in Khans, it was a win for Standard Pauper.  In Dragons, we suffer the fate of Wizards taking only Limited applications into consideration.  With their focus on the "innovation" of rotating the first big set out of draft to replace it with the second large card pool, they clearly wanted to provide drafters with some consistency.  This does nothing for us who want to construct decks in Rarity-Restricted Casual/Competitive formats.  It's a waste of design space.  And as far as the artwork is concerned, the original printing had a human who looked quite tormented.  This piece featured Ugin looking just as he always looks everywhere else.  No dice...okay, fine, I'll be nice...

Cabel's Critique: PITCH

Twin Bolt

Finally we reach the much anticipated burn spell of the set.  And I love it!  Direct damage cards are my favorite way to both kill off creatures and finish my opponents.  Whenever I get the option to get rid of two creatures and generate card advantage in Red, I'm even happier.  And being able to get rid of a dude and direct the extra damage to the opposing planeswalker, I'm as happy as a Red mage can be.  You're going to see this in Red decks everywhere until it rotates.  Don't listen to anybody who says this is a sideboard card, either.  Maindeck this bitch!  You'll be glad you did.

Cabel's Critique:  WIN


Vandalize

I like this card from a design standpoint.  But I stop liking it once Standard Pauper is taken into consideration.  Modal spells that give players options are great, but it depends on the modes you are selecting.  In this case, land destruction just doesn't do well in the format.  In fact, there's almost an unwritten rule that you don't do this because it's such a feel-bad for the other player when facing off against it.  Getting a two-for-one is usually great, too, but in the present environment, what artifacts are you planning on vandalizing?  Nobody runs banners if their serious competitors.  Mana-fixing takes place in lands, not Traveler's Amulets, which would be cracked long before you can cast this pricey spell anyway.  The only thing I like about it is the name, which is a perfect pairing with the appropriate flavor text.

Cabel's Critique:  SMASH

Volcanic Rush

Speaking of expensive spells, this baby also clocks in at a very high five mana.  Volcanic Rush competes with a host of other mass pump finishers currently available for Standard Pauper aggro decks.  In Boros alone you can run Selfless Cathar, Trumpet Blast, and Inspired Charge which have proved themselves in the past.  New mass pump spells include Rush of Battle, War Flare, and Sanctified Charge.  Tacking on trample sure seems nice, but the goal isn't to trample over the opponents blockers: it's to have more dudes on your side of the battlefield breaking through to smash face for the win.  So it is with a heavy heart that I have to give this card a negative final verdict for the last critique of red cards in Dragons of Tarkir.

Cabel's Critique:  FAIL

And so our Reds have come and gone, dear Paupers.  I hope my critiques have not left me red in the face.  If you disagree with any of the criticisms leveled at this new batch of Red commons for Standard Pauper, do not hesitate to criticize me in the comments section below.  Otherwise, I'll take you silence as Stalinist agreement.  Keep standing...you haven't clapped long enough yet :-)

I'm looking at the Black cards, next, and looking forward to this new set becoming Standard Legal.  As I mentioned in my previous post, Standard Pauper events In Real Life at my Local Game Store begin in less than two weeks and I'm excited to report back on their immenent success.  'Til we meet again, comrades, thanks for reading, good luck & have fun!  Peace,


-C

Standard Pauper vs. Friday Night Magic & Announcing: Standard Pauper In Real Life!

I am such a dedicated fan of Standard Pauper that I've actually challenged myself a few times to bring a deck designed to that format's specifications to a Money Magic event.  The most common of these are the Friday Night Magic competitions that take place at local game stores all over the world.

Standard Pauper is a Rarity-Restricted Casual/Competitive format.  That is, the cards you are allowed to build your deck with are restricted based on their rarity and you can play them either casually for fun or get organized and compete against other Paupers for prizes.

In this case, you are allowed to use only commons (the Pauper part) and only those from the currently Standard-legal card pool (the Standard half).  It's as simple as that.  If the expansion symbol is black and it's from one of the core sets or blocks that Standard allow, it's a Standard Pauper deck.


That means it's legal in both the Pauper format and in Standard.  So your deck will be legal to bring to an FNM.  But how will you fare when placing yourself at such a disadvantage?

The answer depends heavily on your build, a little bit on how skillfully you play, and mostly on the luck of the draw.  Having done this a few times, I can conclude that, while it's a fun and interesting experience if, and only if, you do not expect to win, your five-dollar entry fee is probably better spent completing playsets of commons.  And your intent should not be to win but instead to spread the word about how superior a format Standard Pauper is to Money Standard.

The best I ever did was to go 2-2, breaking even, back during Lorwyn-Alara-M10 Standard.  It was then that one of the best performing decks in Standard Pauper was Dominus Deck Wins.  Clout of the Dominus could turn your cheap Stream Hoppers, Riverfall Mimics, and Noggle Bandits into serious evasive threats that were difficult to remove.  Backed up with Lorwyn block's efficient burn spells and the highly anticipated return of Lightning Bolt, this riff on Red Deck Wins was one of the best Sligh decks in the format's storied history.

At that FNM, I got very lucky in addition to being well-practiced with the deck.  I won my first match, then lost two.  To break even, I had to face down the greatest challenge imaginable. My opponent was playing a deck worth well over $400 on the secondary market, the bad guy of Standard at the time: UB Faeries.  With Scions of Oona, Jace Belerens, Bitterblossoms, and all the rest of the rares I could never, ever afford.  I would need lots of luck.  I had to resist tilt like a madman.  And I had to make every single point of damage count and press whatever advantage lady luck graced me...

...and I beat him,  2-1!

In game one I curved out perfectly as he stumbled on mana.  I can recall his snide grin quite well.  Everybody gets bad draws, he surmised.  He surely figured he could roll me easily and didn't even reach for his sideboard.  In the second game, it was I who got stuck on a couple of lands, but DDW could run on two mana.  By halfway through the match, I saw my opponent begin to sweat as he began to run out of counter magic.  He was able to eke out a win by the seat of his pants.

After that game, he sideboarded with a grimace on his face.  I didn't even bring a board, but I'd shaken him enough.  By the time of his second mulligan, he was tilted.  My keep in game three featured a one, two, and three drop, and the all-important aura the deck was named after.  He though he had me when my first turn Stream Hopper was answered by a perfect second-turn Bitterblossom.  But this ended up being his foolish fateful mistake that cost him the match win!

My enchantment was allowed to resolve instead of his Spellstutter Sprite being able to foil my plans.  He proceeded to become angrier as he top-decked land after land, my dude breaking through the Faerie tokens while his life total was sent into the red by his own Bitterblossom.  He damn near threw his deck across the room when he had to report his match loss and didn't even shake my hand as is customary after the match.

Never have I felt so victorious after a match of Magic: the Gathering.  A five-dollar Pauper deck defeating a five-hundred dollar build, working hard for the win while my opponent hoped to buy his way to victory?  Now that's priceless!  Just like the FNM promotional copy of Mulldrifter I earned that night and treasure to this day.

Last week, I decided to see if I could repeat my success.  Yet I had no such luck.  This time instead of going aggro - which is what you should definitely do if you want to try this at home! - I ran  UB Devotion build with a splash of White.

 Now this may the best control deck in Standard Pauper right now.  But it's built to control other Standard Pauper decks, packed with answers against the aggro decks in that format, not Money Standard, before re-filling its grip via Treasure Cruise and developing a board position where dropping a Gray Merchant of Asphodel guarantees the control deck a high life total while annihilating the aggressive opponent's spindown d20.  It is NOT at all effective against the aggro decks current ramping and rolling in Money Standard.

This time I did not win a single match.

In fact, I didn't win a single game!  The best I did was get a GW Devotion Ramp player down to ten...but it was his fetchlands that did most of the work for me and he was more interested in seeing how big a Timmy play he could make with all the mana he was generating.  He could have swung in for lethal with nothing I could possibly do to survive several turns in a row.

However, I still considered my foray into Money Standard with a Standard Pauper deck to be successful.  This is because I merely wanted to spread the word that this budget format existed, that it was more affordable than regular FNM style Standard, and actually required more skill since rares and mythics didn't auto-win games for the players.

But most importantly, because of this exciting announcement:

Starting on Tuesday, March 31st, 2015, at 6:00 PM, just after Dragons of Tarkir is released, I will be hosting Standard Pauper tournaments In Real Life at my favorite little local hobby games store, Flights of Fantasy in my hometown of Albany, New York!

These events will be held to the same deck construction requirements as the Standard Pauper events that have been held on Magic Online for years through PDCMagic.com.  To assist the shop in doing what stores need to do (make a little dough!) there will be a tiny entry fee of just two dollars.  That's it!

There will be prize support, too.  If you win, you get to pick forty - count 'em - forty commons from the store's massive "dump box" full of non-rares sold for ten cents a pop regardless of their full market value.  You can effectively double your money if you take your deck to the top!  For runners-up, you get your entry fee back by selecting twenty commons.  Those who make Top Four end up losing only a dollar by picking ten commons from the prize pool.  A small price to pay for all the fun you just had!

And those who didn't make the cut?  At least they didn't break the bank :-)

This is going to be a fantastic fun event and I cannot wait to get started!  I'm hoping that tons of young people who would otherwise be discouraged by running into wealthy Magic players at FNM and quit will be encouraged to stick with the game via Standard Pauper.  And if adults with kids and tight budgets are feeling like Magic is too expensive to enjoy competitively, this series can and will prove them wrong.

As for me, I won't have to handicap myself so harshly any longer by bringing my Standard Pauper decks to Money Magic FNMs.  I can have fun competing in this awesome format just like I did on MTGO.  Because that terrible software is current killing Standard Pauper...and Standard Pauper is worth saving!

So I refuse to just log off and let the format die.  The only way to fight for the format is to get some boots on the ground and some bodies into the local game stores.  And two weeks from now, the full frontal attack on Wizards of the Coast insulting insistence one releasing inferior software and prohibitive expenses on paper is going to enter the battlefield with guns blazing, baby!

If you're in the area, I sincerely hope you will join us two Tuesdays from this one.  And if you're far away and connected to me via MTGO or PDCMagic and this blog, then stay tuned.  I fully intend to provide the Online Standard Pauper community with as much metagame data as I can gather and share it in hopes that Online players can also benefit from IRL play.

Until then, thanks so much for reading and sharing with me this exciting announcement and a bit of my personal Pauper history.  As always, good luck & have fun!  Peace,

- C